To my First Love

Today my First Love said something different to me.

Maybe he saw me being so exhausted in life this few days..

He is the first and only person in my life that is legit enough for me to prove that 

"HE LOVES ME SINCERELY"

A man that loves me so much that does not want anything back but only for me to find many people that love me, for me to be healthy, for me to be safe, for me to succeed, for me to be loved, for me to be blessed, for me to be there just being me.

I am poor in academic and he is willing to love me.

I am poor in loving him but he is willing to love me.

I am poor physically and emotionally but he is willing to love me.

I am poor in all aspects but he still loves me...

He have Never say me fat (When I'm at my fattest) or ugly (When I had the worst outbreak of my life) 

He is unknowingly so careful with his words, he never felt the need to even faked it or to feel pressure when talking to me.

Because to him "My feelings comes first", he never ever put his feelings upon mine to put me down.

One thing I ever salute to him is,

He is always so proud of me....

So proud that he always say to his friends or colleagues or even relatives

"Everyone This is my Beautiful Lovely Girl, she is my sweetheart"
With me or without me, whenever he mention me, he always Exaggerate how wonderful and awesome I am..

I don't know where to start but everyone is telling me how blessed I am to have him in my life.

He always encourage me, listen to my opinion and even agreeing in where i stand even though when he disagree, he just kept quiet because he know where I am standing to say these opinion.

He is damn f.supportive in whatever fuck I do.. 

Be it having the Worst ex boyfriend I had, or having Poor academic results in my school.

Spending tons of money for my braces or seeing Skin doctor for my Eczema and Acne problem. 

Having all sorts of Dance classes, to Uniform group. 

Going through Muay Thai or Cross fit..

He is always there... 

***
Every night when I'm back home without fail with him around, he always walk to the main door, open the gate for me, hug me and give me a welcome home kiss..

He always say "My lovely is girl"
But today... he said "You are the sweetest"
It almost break me down that the person that I've been neglecting is my papa..
He is always so strong, so independent so loving to me.

He is the only one who loves me unconditionally while I am busy loving and caring for others..

He told me,

"What ever mistake you made, you are forgiven and it is forgotten.

Because my Love for you is greater than Hatred"

The same phrase I always use on people I love, he is the only person that said it back to me.

When I never even say anything of that to him before...

I realized...

I've experienced, TRUE LOVE within him..

Media states him as

"Nerves of Steel, heart of Gold"

***

I have made a mistake that I have never done before to anyone in my entire life.
I sincerely apologize to whatever that had happen.
I made a mistake because I was not sensitive towards the situation.
And it hurts that person real badly.

Because this One mistake and it causes everything to break apart..

I am and will be fighting to be Strong to overcome this...


After all I've given and taken...

I came home bruised ...

You look at me, smile at me saying "My lovely girl is home", you hugged me and kissed me in the cheeks.
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...

In the room,

I teared and wondered "Where did your strength of forgiveness and graciousness come from..."

And my Phrase that I always say to all the people that betrayed/Hurt me before and came into my mind...

"If I don't who will, it is LOVE"

Reading back your article and you stated so clearly your point of view.

"Everyone makes mistakes but we need to give them 
the hope that they can correct themselves - So that 
they go back the right path."


I will heal myself even if no one else would give me the chance, for I am solely going to try my best to focus more on you.
Because, you gave me the World when I gave you Hell.



You love me when No one else did.
You love me even if I am rebellious.
You love me even when You know I will leave to have my own family in future.
You love me when you're bruised..
Most importantly,
You love me when I couldn't Love myself.

Thank you for proving to me that I am not alone.

They all say Special Force Commandos are filled with Egos and Pride.
But you are the only one that proves it otherwise..

I hope my future husband, will be like you Daddy...

Someone that can be so forgiving and so gracious, someone that can be so loving and mushy all the time, someone that can be so Proud to have me in their life.

Honestly I could even smell my presence with you even without me staying by your side.

Thank you for not giving up on me.
And always making me the happiest proud little girl that you possibly could.

You made the entire world Envy that I have you in my Life.
For that, I Thank you...

My first
LOVE

My first
HERO

Always my
Daddy

Someone that is so perfect like you.

Someone who is as gracious as you.

❤